Some Poems by Ms. Jenny Pena

Came across an article entitled The Poetry and Passion of Joe Salazar. Such poignant poetry by Ms. Jenny Peňa…

DOUBLE EXPOSURE

Coffee and cream not tea
Salt and pepper not sugar
Black and white not gray
You and I not three.

TRIPLE EXPOSURE

A twig, a leaf, a flower
Sunshine, starlight, rain shower
Touch, feel, see
Earth, sea, sky with me.

LEGACY

I leave you my treasures
Glorious sunsets, peaceful dawns
Quiet streams, rocks and stones
Towering trees, ferns and flowers
The core of my artistic soul.

CREATION

I saw a pair of fairy dancers glide
Bathed in moonbeams and twinkling stars,
Flowers and leaves, plumes and beads
Gathered and stitched, piece by piece,
Drunk with beauty my fingers bleed.

SEASONS

Flowers fade
Leaves fall
From my window I watch.
My soul cries
Catch them all.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Met up with my friends from UP. Was ecstatic to see Love again. She came home from the States to take care of her sick lola. Also saw one of Liezl’s angels. Megan’s so adorable. Soul Food’s 7-flavored Beef (not sure if I got this right) and Vegetarian Pizza became instant food faves.


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Went to my beloved sorority’s induction ball. The emcees, Nashie and Gayla were hilariously funny. Pang-Laffline. Hehehe. Hail TLP!

bitten by the 24/7 bug II

I haven't reloaded my Sun Cell phone in a month I think. I'm depressingly strapped for cash so I decided to TRY to set my priorities straight. The Sun Cell load had to be impermanently given up. Received word about Globe/Smart's Call/Text Unlimited promo. These telecom giants are surely catching up. Question is, how long will their promo last? Is this just another brilliant strategy to crush the competition? Once again, here are some of the nice messages I've stored in my phone's inbox.

1. Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

2. I'd like to share something with you. I know this may not be important because you already have this but in case you're about to lose yours, I'd be glad to give you mine. It's called "the rest of my life."

3. God created the world in 6 days and He rested on the 7th day. Then some stupid moron created Medicine. Since then, nobody rested...Hail to you, Doctors!

4. If a fish fell in love with a bird, could they live together? Could one fly with fins? Could one remove its wings? Love can't change what's not meant to be.

5. Love doesn't ask "why?" for it's the reason itself. Love doesn't ask "what if?" for it is willing to risk all. Love doesn't ask "until when?" for it only knows forever.

6. If you're in heaven and I'm in hell, I'd look up to you and be proud of you. But if I'm in heaven and you're in hell, I'd lose my wings and go down to you. Because heaven ain't heaven without you.

7. Do you know what magic is? It’s having the power to make someone happy without having to do a single thing. You want to know something else? In my life you have been nothing…Nothing but magic.

8. Do you know that the darkest hour is the hour before sunrise? So when you feel that you are at your darkest moment, remember: you may just be a moment away from your sunrise.

9. As we sail through life, don’t avoid rough waters…Sail on, because calm seas never make a skillful sailor.

10. In life, everything happens for a reason. People meet by chance or by fate. In meeting you, however, who cares about the reason? I’m just glad I did.

11. Like a fragile strand in a spider’s web, our bond has become a significant part of my life. I will not let that strand break because it would be difficult to weave my life all over again.

12. Loving someone desperately is like holding a broken piece of glass. Not wanting to give up but your hands feel the pain. When you finally let go, you’re free from pain but your hands are empty.

13. It’s better for a girl to sleep a hundred years and be kissed awake by the right prince than to stay awake and be kissed a hundred times by the wrong frog.

14. When every note in our life is tuned to God’s major key, our reaction to life’s difficulties becomes a grand symphony.

15. Man asked God why he makes women so beautiful, and God said, “So you will love them.” Then man asked, “But why do you have to make them stupid at times?” and God said, “So they can love you.”

16. Some joys are better expressed in silence as a smile holds more meaning than laughter. I was asked if I enjoyed meeting you in my life. You know what? I just smiled.

17. It’s hard to hold on to something we know would never be ours in a way we think of. We just have to learn to let go and face the fact that while some good things never last, some don’t even start.

18. We’re like teabags whose true strength comes out when put in hot water. So when problems beset you, just think…you must be God’s favorite cup of tea.

19. If I was deaf, I’ll hear your laughter through your smile. If I was mute, I’ll speak to you through your eyes. If I was blind, I’ll see you through your touch. I can live without my senses but life won’t make sense without you.

20. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the butt of the person who spoils your day and may his arms grow too short to scratch his butt. Have a stress-free day.

21. When you’re feeling stressed and about to break down, just remember: STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards. It’s a piece of cake. Smile and take it easy.

22. A stranger approached a child and asked, “What is love?” The child answered, “Hmmm…Love is when a puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Visita Iglesia with Papa and Nikki. I’ve been doing this for 15 years now. Usually, we start at around 5 p.m. and end at around 12 a.m. We visit 14 churches (1 station per church), sometimes even 15 if our legs can still carry us. We walk from church to church. This year’s different though. Papa (poor him :-() got pretty tired fast so we were only able to finish the 1st 6 stations.

1st station – Pope Pius Chapel (UN Avenue)
2nd station – St. Vincent de Paul Church (San Marcelino St.)
3rd station – San Agustin Church (Intramuros)
4th station – Manila Cathedral (Intramuros)
5th station – San Vicente de Ferrer Church (Binondo)
6th station – San Lorenzo Ruiz Chapel (Binondo)

The fun part: dinner at Wai Ying. I missed this food place. It’s a small resto with dimsum and congee that can compete with Gloria Maris’s. The meals are a lot cheaper too. I’m an avid fan of their fish congee, siomai and cold milk tea. I got a bit disappointed because their congee tasted different that night. Good thing the milk tea was just the way my taste buds remembered it. Back home, Nikki and I decided to read the next 8 stations at The Most Holy Redeemer Parish since it’s just a couple of blocks away.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Went malling with Glenn. My fave destination spots: the petshop, the gadget strip (I wish I were as techie as my friends) and the “garden.” I’ve been going to that mall regularly for a year now but it’s rare that I get to explore those areas. Watched Robots. The 1st 15 minutes were dragging but the rest of the film made up for this. Generally quite action-packed and entertaining. I also had my fortune read by an old Chinese guy who I happened to meet years ago in a salon. For a mere 10 bucks, my seemingly bright future was told. Too bad I’ve forgotten what the balding man told me before so I wasn’t able to check into the accuracy of his predictions. I don’t really believe in fortune-telling but it never fails to amuse me.

I’ll write more on this weekend’s events in my next entry. Sleep beckons. Happy easter!

Was able to explore Gateway for the first time. Trendy shops and restos. The downside: a fat wallet is essential for survival within its premises. Watched Hitch, a feel-good romantic flick. Anxsh and I got totally engrossed in the film because of its melt-your-heart lines and Women-are-from-Venus-and-Men-are-from-Mars views. What did this film teach me? A lot!

1. Love chooses you and not the other way around.
2. Love is not governed by rules.
3. At times you really have to take the plunge where the stakes are high for the one you love.
4. When you love someone, don’t wait and depend on the celestial beings to make things happen. Do something about it. Don’t let the golden opportunity to snag him/her pass you by.
5. In love, fear of failure has no place. Believe in yourself, get your act together and strut your stuff. Confidence counts.
6. Listen more and talk less.
7. NEVER ASSUME THINGS.

“Life is not about the number of breaths you take. It’s the number of moments that take your breath away.”

I was thumbing through my cd box when I chanced upon a cd with “Chinky’s pics” written on it. His handwriting. Ah. It’s been almost a year. How can I forget? Momentary insanity caused by the Rebound Syndrome. There’s something about the summer’s rays that blinds you from the truth. Your emotions are heightened. Your heart becomes vulnerable. Your impulse control gets sacrificed in the process. There’s no physiological explanation for this yet. It’s just plain crazy. My friend (if ever you get to read this blog), I just want you to know that I’m okay. I know you are too. We’re both happy now. That’s all that matters. We’ll be alright …

Minna Ga Iine (All So Wonderful)
A Song from the Anime Series Boys Be

Romaji Lyrics/
English Translation

* riyuu nanka nakute issho nara ureshiku nattari
nan to naku tsuujiau minna ga ii ne
* For no particular reason, I'm happy just being with you
Somehow we can communicate, all so wonderful
kawara no shamen nekoronda teashi wo nobashite
atama no ue wo tori-tachi ga tobitatta
Laying on a river bed, stretching my arms and legs
Birds flew in the sky above our heads
futo miageta kyou no sora
doko made mo hirogaru
donna YUUTSU na koto demo
chiisaku omoeru yo
Suddenly looking up to the sky today,
it seems to go on forever
No matter how depressing something is,
it seems small in comparison
riyuu nanka nakute suki na uta kuchidzusandetari
sonna toki ga ichiban kimochi ga ii ne
For no particular reason, I just hum a song I like
Such times are the best, it feels so wonderful
yuugure ga kite yakyuujou yokogitte kaerou
jitensha notte akai kumo wo oikakete
Dusk comes, and we go back through the baseball field
riding our bicycles, chasing the red clouds
SHATSU no mune wo fukuramasu
kaze wa yume no you de
motto hanashi ga shitai yo
ashita mata aou ne
The wind puffs up my shirt;
it's just like in a dream
There's so much I want to talk about...
We'll meet again tomorrow, right?
itsuka konna hi mo owattari shite shimau no ka na?
zutto tanoshii hibi ga tsudzukeba ii no ni
Will such a day like today come to an end someday?
Though I wish these fun days would continue on forever
* Repeat
* Repeat

Spent the night at Hannah's place to help her finish our paper in Family Block. The most convenient way to go to her place is through the LRT. My second time to take the LRT alone. Scary and yet so exciting. Hehe. The purple line's relatively clean. Mama congratulated me for an uneventful (meaning no bloopers involved) ride.

Today's Palm Sunday. Went to mass with Mama.

Kristo, Kristo
Bakit minsan ka lang nakikilala?
Kapag nakadama ng dusa o pangamba...

I may not be worthy of His love at times but I do try my best. Have a Blessed Holy Week everyone.

2 exams in Surgery tomorrow afternoon then school finally ends for this year. Whee!

poison has gone to dog heaven

Most of you guys know that I absolutely love animals. If reincarnation were true, I must have been an animal in my past life. Come to think of it, man is considered the highest form in the animal populace. The Homo Sapien. Whatever. I'm not a biologist. *smiles* When I was a kid, my then-house became a dwelling place for stray cats thanks to me. Around 14 of them to be exact. From that time on, I started bringing in pets I received as gifts or purchased in marketplaces and pet shops - dogs, fortune lobsters, turtles, doves, ducklings, chicks, love birds, rabbits, guinea pigs, fishes, snails and hamsters. I was a "young parent" once. Normally, girls of my generation saved up for Barbie dolls and Cabbage Patch Kids. I had a small collection of Barbie dolls but a huge chunk of my baon went to birdfeed and pellets. For a time, I actually considered becoming a vet.

Poison, named after a perfume brand that was popular at the time, was my very first puppy. i got her when I was 14. She was born a day after my birthday. She was supposed to turn 12 on April 10 but God decided to take her to dog heaven yesterday. Poison had my undivided attention until Moshi came 5 months later. Poison was a mutt but this didn't make her less special. She was a well-behaved pup. When my family moved to a new place, my mother decided to give her to my aunt who lived next door. Since then, I only saw her during meal time because I still made sure that she was well-fed. I still loved her dearly. Her death was a big blow to me. It was really ill-timed. I was just about to get inside the car when Gie broke the news. I felt so devastated. I wailed. I started to go through the 1st stage of bereavement: denial. Right now, I'm still stuck there. Dunno when I'll start to move on. Somehow, the thought of her smiling from dog heaven helps ease the pain. She will be remembered. She definitely will.

Mystery guy is a mystery no more. Learned that my aunt knows his family so I tried to squeeze out as much info from her as my guts could muster. I feel like a schoolgirl again. Hahaha. Might as well indulge in this fleeting kilig experience while I still can because I'm well aware that clerkship's just weeks away.

I think and I believe that I super sucked at my exams today. I can't really complain because instead of going over my Surgery notes last night, I emailed, YMed and used the phone for hours. Oh well. Hehe. I'll get by.

Whoever You Are

It was a typical dormant Sunday morning.Mama asked me to walk Moshi since the drama king was trying his best to make us feel downright guilty for failing to bring him outside last night. I reluctantly obeyed. I hate summer's sweltering heat. My eyes fell momentarily on the brown gate across my house. I felt giddy inside. A month ago, I went outside with Nikki to buy merienda. That was the first time I saw him. Their gate opened. A car entered. I noticed a guy standing outside - the cute resident of No. 8. I elbowed Nikki. She smiled knowingly. She knew my type too well. Saw him twice after that chance "discovery" (discovery that a nice-looking chinito lives nearby...haha!). I silently prayed that I'd see the mystery male again. As if on cue, thir gate opened and out emerged the man-of-the-hour along with an old man (his Dad perhaps). Our eyes met. Cute goatee. I was immediately overcome by shyness. I turned away. The experience was surreal but nice. Definitely NICE. My summer crush...why did you have to appear in my life when I'm about to leave this place I call home soon? Who are you? Well, it won't matter now, will it? Someday, you'll just be a vaguely familiar face in my memory bank. I'll still smile at the thought of this surprise encounter though.

Just couldn't say no to friends. I had big plans yesterday (in the med life department): start making my critical appraisal for Surgery and start reviewing for next week's exams. Rej invited us to merienda with her. Quickly brushed my plans aside. Since it's a day of fasting for Catholics, I had veggie tofu and oreo cheesecake at The Pit (one of our tambayans after class hours). Happy stomach again (burp-burp-burp). Saw Elli and Shaun there. Toured Amy and Rej within my beloved mall, SM Centerpoint. Hehe. It's just 5 minutes away from my place so I know every shop by heart. I psyched myself into buying at least one nice blouse but ended up buying nothing. Well, what can I say? When you hear comments such as "Malaki tiyan mo diyan.." or "Mukha kang rebel...," will you still have a voracious appetite for shopping? Thank God for friends who don't lie. I realized that I didn't have much money to spare anyway. Might as well use it for school or something more peso-worthy. My videoke plan (Pau, 4th entry...hehe) got foiled also 'coz a small crowd had already gathered outside the videoke rooms by the time we got there. Still felt A-ok though because I got to spend time again with people who mean so much to me. Rej and Amy, I need loot. Hehe.

Pinsan

Pinsan
(Para sa inyo: Ann, Gie at Nikki)

Pinsan...
Ilang araw na lamang ang nalalabi
Bago lumubog ang araw sa ating dalampasigan
Nais ko mang himukin itong sumikat habang-buhay
Ako'y tao lamang na kailangang sumabay sa agos ng panahon
Maaaring maipagdasal
Na habaan pa ang oras ng pagsasama
Ngunit paano kung ito'y ipagkait?

Nais kong iparating sa iyo
Na tunay ang mga ngiti at halakhak
Na dumalang ang pagpatak ng luha
Na ang bawat salita mo ay pinakinggan at inintindi
Na ang mga alaala ay hindi magtatapos sa kabila ng pamamaalam

Pinsan...
Magkikita rin tayong muli sa takdang panahon
Ako'y naniniwala
Ako'y naghihintay
Sa pagsisimula ng panibagong yugto sa piling mo...

Wished Upon a Star

A couple of nights ago, I walked Moshi along the street outside my home. The sky was an enchanting purplish orange. A number of exquisite stars were aglow. I smiled in awe, oblivious to my furry ally who had just finished his "act" and was sending subtle signals of boredom. I picked out the brightest star and wished upon it. At the back of my head, I was thinking of the cliche', "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it." Have I ever paid heed to this warning? The answer is a resounding NO! Hehehe.

I felt sucky when I woke up this morning. The reason? I accidentally fell asleep during my review break early last night. I was supposed to power-cram for crying out loud! I was supposed to sleep with Schwartz. I did sleep with him and that's the only thing I did...I wasn't able to finish a single topic. I just cradled him in my arms then hied off to Dreamland. Thank God for small miracles. I was granted one today. My Comprehensive Exam in Surgery got moved to Monday. That's days added to my review time and that really mattered. Whee!

Today, I'm trying to regain the momentum I've lost since I got addicted to this thing called blogging. I'm doing some research for school right now. Later, I'll read more on Surgery.

Suntok sa Buwan

Vowed not to blog today 'coz I have a Comprehensive Examination in Surgery tomorrow. My fingers itched so much so here I am in front of the PC typing away. I think I've acquired a pathologic addiction to blogging. Uh-oh. Anyway, the topic of today's entry: OPM songs. There are lots of excellent OPM songs these days. Among my faves are: Huwag na Huwag Mong Sasabihin, Same Ground, Mata, Masaya, You'll Be Safe Here and Suntok sa Buwan. Suntok sa Buwan talks about unrequited love. This can be anyone's story - a student who has a secret crush on her math professor, a fan who religiously attends every gig, a best friend who holds back thinking that romance will spoil the friendship, a successful career woman who's persistently haunted by the image of her puppy love or an old man who still dreams of seeing his pre-war girlfriend again. Sometimes, you simply have to take a step beyond your comfort zone. If you think it's worth the pain, take the plunge. It sometimes is, but not always. It may give you the best days of your life but then again, it may just be another humbling experience. I'm posting the song's lyrics below.

Suntok sa Buwan

Hindi mo ba alam

Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan

Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan

'Di mo nga alam

Mundo mo nga'y iyong tingnan

Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan

Hindi ko 'to gusto

Pero 'wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin

At tatanungin ko rin

Kung ika'y aamin

Lahat ay gagawin

Di mo napapansin

Kailangan mo akong dinggin

'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin

Ito'y aking hiling

At sana naman ay tanggapin

Nang puso ko'y 'di nabibitin

"while some good things never last, some don't even start..."

I'm a Singer !!!

Sunday, March 6, 2005

Was able to sing (with confidence...a first) during one of the best videoke nights of my life. The sole witness to the start of my singing profession (ehem...as if!) - my voice instructor/cousin/best friend, Gie. Only belted out (naks! belted out...hahaha) 3 songs: Bakit ba Ganyan (a good song for beginners according to my voice instructor), Is it Okay if I Call You Mine? and All My Life. Chose these songs 'coz I found them relatively easy (emphasis on relatively) to sing. Surprisingly, I got high scores...Suddenly doubted the accuracy of the videoke machine. Hehe. Even scored 100 when I sang All My Life. The much-awaited verdict: "You're a singer !!!" Whee!

Tried creating another blog site (tabulas). Apparently, this site is for techie people. Had a hard time modifying my site so I decided to delete everything. Dunno how to drop my account though.

Somewhere in the Middle

Missed the videoke night ‘coz I still felt awful and Mama got sick as well. Had to take care of her while looking after myself. Oh well.

Accidentally fell asleep while waiting for Buddy’s call. Was supposed to share with him highlights of my lousy day. So sorry Bud. Next time.

Woke up at 9 a.m., still feeling sick and tired. Felt really bad about not attending the medical mission today. It was supposed to be my last before I get into clerkship. By mid-afternoon, felt a wee bit better. Went over to my aunt’s place to help tend to her needs. Over hilaw na mangga and bagoong, my cousin (my aunt’s daughter) and I lambasted the trying-hard TV wannabes on ETK (a showbiz news show on Channel 2). How jologs and mean can we get!

I’m posting the poem I wrote, based on my friend’s sob story. To my friend, I hope you’ll finally learn the art of letting go. It won’t be easy but I’m sure you’ll get by.

Somewhere in the Middle

Somewhere in the middle
Between hello and goodbye
Between reliving the past and ending the present
I dreamt of a love that’s true

Somewhere between getting acquainted and falling in love
Between knowing your name and embracing who you are
I held you close to my heart

Somewhere between talking on the phone and gazing at the stars
Between listening to country music and stringing songs on your guitar
Romance started to seep in

Somewhere in the middle
You fell for her
The flame of magic died out
Our music stopped playing
I can no longer stay

Once more, I’m caught somewhere in the middle
Because I have to let go but I don’t know how
Because my mind refuses to drop every tender memory
Because my eyes remain blinded by the light you’ve shone upon my path
Because I find it hard to sacrifice fantasy for bitter reality

But yes, I must go
While our friendship is still simple and beautiful
Because things need not be complicated in order to be beautiful
So while I still marvel at the beauty of our friendship and something beyond
I must bid you goodbye
And start a journey without you
Think of me fondly once in a while

Yikes! I did more blogging than studying this week. Someone should discipline me.

to videoke or not to videoke

I'm suffering from intestinal flu. The culprit: the Beef Chao-fan and Nai Cha I had for lunch yesterday. Had to go back to bed every 5 minutes this morning 'coz I felt so nauseated. Still went to school for the seminar which our group was tasked to organize. Major dilemma...to videoke or not to videoke with friends later tonight. Still feeling awful but I want to spend time with them. It's rare that we get to spend a lot of time together these days. Received a warm welcome from my furry best friend, Moshi when I got home. That was almost enough to make me forget that I'm sick.

A Dose of Kitchie

After a series of cancelled gig dates with friends, finally got to watch Kitchie Nadal peform live. Pretty chick. Huge vocal range. I sound like a lesbian. Hehe. No offense to them. Huwag na Huwag Mong Sasabihin (no matter how overplayed this is) is one of my fave Kitchie songs. Sadly, she didn't sing it that night. I also love Strange Ground. I'm posting its lyrics below. My blog is starting to look like a song book but I don't care. Hehe. I'm an audiophile. Ruth and Glenn, it was a great night. :-)

Binged on Jap food with Papa and Mama last night. It's been months since I last ate decent Jap food. Filled my plate with sushi and kani tempura. Uni sushi still tops my list of food faves. A friend thinks it tastes like seawater. I beg to disagree. I'd still look for it in every Jap resto. Yummy. Since I didn't eat merienda, my tummy still had ample space for dessert. Savored every spoonful of the heavenly choco mousse. My tummy felt so grateful. Looking forward to my next blog-worthy food experience.

Can't wait for Friday to happen. If I get lucky, might videoke with friends. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Might just be the start of a prospective singing career for moi. Duh. Hehe.

Marc now calls me blogger chick. You never fail to make me laugh, you crazy guy you.

STRANGE GROUND

My love,

It's been a long time since I cried and left you out of the blue.

It's hard leaving you that way when I never wanted to.

Self-denial is a game

It's strange

I never would've wanted 'till there was you.

'Cause I have learned that love is beyond what human can imagine,

More it clears the more I have to let you go.

But now I don't understand why I'm feeling so bad now when I know it was my idea.

I could've just denied the truth and lied.

But why am I the only one standing stranded on the same ground?

'Cause I have learned that love is a word gets thrown a little bit too much.

The best excuse to fill the infinite abyss

I would never ever have to if

When else fail, would you be there to love me?

When all else fail, would you be brave to see right through me?