Gemini

Just finished watching performers belt out Spongecola's hit songs in a local variety show. I love their songs. I remember falling in love with this song years ago...

GEMINI

Come a little closer
Flicker in flight
We’ll have about an inch space
But I’m here
I can breathe in
What you breathe out

*Let me know if I’m doing this right
Let me know if my grip is too tight
Let me know if I can stay all of my life
Let me know if dreams can come true
Let me know if this one’s yours too
'Cause I see it
And I feel it
Right here
And I feel you right here

The vacuous right
Steps aside to give meaning
To Gemini’s dreaming
The moon on its back
And the seemingly
Veiled room’s lit
By the same star

Repeat *

And I feel it right here
And I feel you right here

My first day of work in 2009. I'm obviously suffering from the holiday daze.

The evidence?

1. left my water bottle

2. left my snacks

3. left my earphones

4. left my cellphone charger

The consequences?

1. will get thirsty

2. will get hungry

3. will get bored

4. will have to limit cellphone usage ... will get extremely bored

Good thing I brought along a book to kill time. Might finish the rest of PS I Love You today. Uh-oh. Just remembered. I left my MIMS and Expanded Medicine Blue Book at home as well. Haha. Now I feel so unprepared to see patients. Hope no one's in the mood to go see the MD today. After all, office and school will resume on Monday. People should enjoy what's left of the long holiday break.

The old man paid me a visit on New Year's Eve. Haven't seen him for 3 years. We laughed, talked about the years gone by, dreamt of a brighter future, drank some wine ... just like old times. His smile was hopeful and his words were wise. It was a perfect little moment that brought me back to those days when my folks handled problems that were too big for me to deal with. Now that I'm a parent myself, I know I'll do everything to make Mishka's life as worry-free as possible. I wonder when I'll see Papa again. Another perfect little moment to look forward to.

I discovered that some of my links here are either inactive or have been redirected to obscene websites. I've deleted them. Happy holidays everyone!

2008 was one hell of a rollercoaster ride. The ride was definitely bumpy. Everything felt new. It tested my faith. To make matters worse, Shai and the Kuchen Meister were thousands of miles away. Wish and pray that they're here. Despite everything, I still believe in God's sublime plan. He has the power to make things happen. He knows what's best for me. The bruises made me stronger and wiser. This is my first Christmas with my baby. She's everything to me. I posted this song in my previous blog ...

NOT WHILE I'M AROUND

Barbra Streisand

Nothing's gonna harm you

Not while I'm around

Nothing's gonna harm you

No sir, not while I'm around

Demons are prowling everywhere nowadays

I'll send them howling,

I don't care, I've got ways

No one's gonna hurt you

No one's gonna dare,

Others can desert you

Not to worry, whistle

I'll be there

Demons'll charm you with a smile for awhile

But in time

Nothing can harm you,

not while I'm around.

Being close and being clever

Aint like being true,

I dont need to,

I would never

Hide a thing from you

Like some

No one's gonna hurt you

No one's gonna dare

Others can desert you

Not a worry, whistle

I'll be there

Demons'll charm you with a smile for awhile

But in time

Nothing's gonna harm you

Not while I'm around

Not while I'm around

Yesterday was a typical Saturday. Was at the clinic along D. Tuazon from 8 till 5. No patient showed up. Haha. Finished a third of PS I Love You. The story's getting really good. Struggled against dozing off. Listened to On the Side of Me over and over again. Gazed out the window and watched the world go by. Received my pay at the end of the day. Mama told me I should be ashamed for getting paid without seeing a single patient. Told her it wasn't my fault if people get too lazy to show up at the clinic during the holidays. I completely understood. Would have done the same thing. Haha. Finally caught Twilight. I know there's a hype going around but I must admit that I was a bit disappointed. Should have waited for the DVD copy instead.

Christmas is definitely my favorite time of the year. No, not Valentine's day (although I'm a self-confessed romantic). And no, DEFINITELY NOT New Year's Eve ('cause I'm auditory defensive). I feel like a kid during Christmas. Of course I no longer believe in Santa (although I envy the little ones who still believe in him) but I'm one of the few adults who get totally excited about receiving gifts during this season. I crave for my family's traditional noche buena fare --- the quezo de bola, fruitcake, Mama's macaroni salad, halayang ube, Mama's Italian ribbon-shaped spaghetti and Aling Beth's sarsa (sarsa pa lang, ulam na!). I used to complete 9 days of Misa de Gallo/Simbang Gabi in order to make a wish. Believe me, my wishes came true. Too bad I failed to attend a single mass this month. December has always been a memorable month for me. Enough said. Meri Kurisumasu!

On the Side of Me

Currently loving this song ... To all the people who've been with me and continue to stay with me through the rough times, domo arigato gozaimasu ...

ON THE SIDE OF ME
Corinne May

I'm not the easiest person to love
I'm often the one who lets things go unresolved

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Yet you choose to be on the side of me
on the side of me

I'm not too proud of some things
I've done in my life
The skeletons in my closet
Are too big for me to hide

Yet you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
Blessed Charity
You're on the side of me
on the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
but you

I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth

'Cause you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me
What a mystery
You're on the side of me
on the side of me

Everyone needs a friend to hold
when it's cold outside
and there's no place to go
Everyone needs a friend to hold
all alone I cried
there was no place to go
I remember when nobody cared
Nobody cared
But you...

Yeah you choose to be
on the side of me
on the side of me

When you're in your teens, you tend to be a bit selfish. You choose to do things that make you happy. Your first priority is yourself. You set aside a fraction of your baon for that fab outfit you can wear to the party where your crush might show up. It takes an hour and a half to get dressed. When your mom asks for a massage and you're feeling tired, you rant. You expect to receive gifts from your loved ones on your birthday. You refuse to run errands when exams are near. You break up with your boyfriend because you believe that there's always someone better around the corner. You whine about the number of years you have to spend in college just to get a degree. You're excited about the idea of establishing a career in the future that will provide you with more money for clothes and "extra-curricular activities." You're the master of your universe. Your ego is important.

In your 20s, however, you start to realize that you're not the only person that matters in your universe. Your mom gets sick and you suddenly feel a sense of panic. You don't want to lose her too soon. You love her. You offer her a daily TLC massage. You accompany her on her trips to the doctor. You're forced to squeeze in household errands a day before your slide presentation because someone's got to do them. Gifts on special occasions are things of the past. A hug or a kiss will do. When you get your first paycheck, you eagerly hand it over to your folks. You try to work things out with your partner because you have committed yourself to him. Happiness no longer rules your universe. You're responsible for your own actions. No one else can speak for you. No one else can save your a*s. Things get more complicated when your sense of responsibility is put to the test. Should you choose to be happy and get others hurt? Or choose to sacrifice your own happiness in order to make others happy? Growing old sometimes sucks.

The Lake House

Watched The Lake House. Superb storyline.

"You waited ..."

--- Dr. Kate Forster (The Lake House)

Thank you everyone!

I would like to thank everyone for including us, the Feb board takers, in their prayers. To God be the glory. :-)

i'm back ... with good news! :-)

After a long hiatus, I'm back ... with good news! Just passed the Physician Licensure Examinations. Hallelujah! The questions were weird and I would have to say that faith is your best and only accessible tool. I'm not ashamed to say that I made a silent prayer after reading every question (Lord, tulungan niyo po ako please. Ano ang tamang sagot dito? ... Lord, kayo na bahala sa'kin.) Everyone's right. No amount of reading can best prepare you for the boards. The anatomy exam was the worst. I felt like I did not review for this subject at all eventhough I did. It became a guessing game. Again, I prayed hard. When I emerged from the room, I told my friends, "Grabe. Puwede na tayong maging manghuhula pagkatapos nito." Now I'm thinking ... where do I buy a crystal ball?

See You Next Year!

Hi peeps! I won't be blogging in a while. See you next year. God bless. :-)

The Art of Letting Go

At times, we find ourselves saying goodbye to the person we love. Goodbye doesn't necessarily mean that you stop loving the person. A friend once said that to think that love is limited to just one person is immature. You don't stop loving people just because you have someone new to love. So true. He will always be special. If we're meant to be together, God will find ways ... For now, I'm spreading my wings, hoping that they will take me to greater heights ... Will make my Mama proud ...

The Art of Letting Go (Mikaila)

Put away the pictures.

Put away the memories.

I put over and over

Through my tears

I've held them till I'm blind

They kept my hope alive

As if somehow that I'd keep you here

Once you believed in a love forever more

How do you leave it in a drawer?

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all

Unchain my heart that's holding on

How do I start to live my life alone?

Guess I'm just learning,

Learning the art of letting go.

Try to say it's over

Say the word goodbye.

But each time it catches in my throat

You're still here in me

And I can't set you free

So I hold on to what I wanted most

Maybe someday we'll be friend's forever more

Wish I could open up that door

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all

Unchain my heart that's holding on

How do I start to live my life alone?

Guess I'm just learning,

Learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade

What can I do?

But try to make it through the pain of one more day

Without you

Where do I start, to live my life alone?

I guess I'm learning, only learning,

Learning the art of letting go.

Way Back into Love

I don't wanna make my blog look like a songbook again but I just feel like posting this ... La lang. Rotten, rotten, rotten r______p!


Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
Oh oh oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
Oh oh oh

Show Me Your Smile

I'm an Apo virgin, the term the singing trio gives to people who watch them perform live for the very first time. Well, there's always a first time and mine was good, if not excellent. They orchestrated an almost seamless concert which left the audience immensely entertained. Definitely a nostalgic trip.

Show Me a Smile (Apo Hiking Society)

Show me a smile and then kiss me
Tell me you love me again
Come to my room and then lie on my bed
I love you, you know although sometimes it just doesn't show

Giving is my way of loving
The only way that I know
I've got nothing much and I've got nothing to show
I love you, you know although sometimes it doesn't seem so

Love me forever
Love me all night through
Love me for a lifetime
I live my life for only you

I love you, you know although sometimes it doesn't seem so

Love me forever
Love me all night through
Love me for a lifetime
I live my life for only you

Show me a smile and then kiss me
Tell me you love me again
Come to my room and then lie on my bed
I love you you know although sometimes it just doesn't show ...

The Dreamer of Oz

I dreamed of Oz, with her beaches, blokes and sheilas
I dreamed of the 5 kg toblerone sitting on a heapful of lollies
I dreamed of raindrops that kissed my bright red brolly
And Perth and a gang of mozzies ...

While majority of Filipinos are snoring in bed or worse ... infusing their pillows with saliva (hehehe), I'm doing some soul-searching. I've been doing this for the past 3 days or so. I wonder why. Maybe it comes with the age. This is the hard thing about being a doctor. While your high school mates are earning enough money to support the nests they can call their own, you realize that you haven't left your Mom's nest for the simple reason that you're still not capable of building a nest of your own. Your friends have already made a name for themselves. As for you, the unlicensed doctor, who still remains anonymous, save for your fellow unlicensed colleagues, carving out a niche in your profession is not within your grasp yet ... Where am I headed? Honestly, I still dunno. If there's one thing I learned from this aging process, it's to go where the wind takes you. Don't resist. Just do your best. Be brave enough to face your future. Carpe diem. Hakuna matata. Samtosa. Live by your principles. Don't lose hope. Keep the faith. Bury your past 'coz you can't do anything about it. Invest in your future. I believe that there's someone out there who guides us in everything we do. We just have to put our full trust in Him. I'm not afraid to grow old...

Samtosa

This moment ... is the way it should be. Samtosa ... the supreme joy of living in the now ...

As I write this, I hope my batchmates who took the August boards will make it. Praying for them everyday. I had a turbulent July. Closing cycles, changing chapters ... Moving on ...